> ## Content Index
> Fetch the complete content index at: https://crow1170.com/llms.txt
> Use this file to discover other available public pages before exploring further.

# What Even ARE My Goals?
- URL: https://crow1170.com/what-even-are-my-goals/
- Published: 2025-05-20T14:26:58.000Z
- Updated: 2025-05-20T14:26:58.000Z
- Author: Chris Knowles
- Tags: #Import 2026-10-07 23:38

I've a great contempt for naval gazing blogs. When I come to a blog, I've come with an expectation of a guided exploration through something that interests me, not pages of bombastic self interested babble. *And yet*.

I've come to this page as an author this time, not an audience. And that's giving me a new appreciation for just how hard it must be to be the people I rely on to keep me entertained. What are *they* after, how do *they* deliver? What am I doing here? Well. I'm seeking answers, not questions. I want to measure the fact that I'm alive. I want something I can look at or think on and conclude that I'm not wasting the time, resources, and opportunities that I've been entrusted with. To that end, I ought to generate some artifacts:

- Daily notebook entries
- Weekly fiber arts
- Monthly blog posts
- Quarterly field trips

It's obviously not a comprehensive set of goals, but they meet the SMART characteristics (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time-bound) and I don't mind sharing them with the public. Too many goals seem foisted upon me and aren't actually something I have any particular interest in. People with loud opinions about what will help me get what I want, with no real understanding of what that might be.

![](https://crow1170.com/content/images/2025/05/image.png)

In goal selection, I'm reminded of the [*Nicomachean eudaimonia*](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nicomachean%5FEthics?ref=crow1170.com#Happiness); The differentiation of things that are good in their own right and things that are good because of what they lead to. Usually, the difference is presented as binary- A thing is either *instrumental* or *intrinsic*. But I've found that at least for my notebook entries, there's an emotional response that I don't get from other things. Seeing proof that I've been alive & awake at the wheel for weeks or months is more valuable to me than any of the things I'm recording. On a spectrum from instrumental to intrinsic, it sits at a surprisingly lofty perch. It's worth more than the sum of its parts- The food, paper, ink, even the time it takes to create them is not more valuable than the proof itself. Maybe that has to do with being a [Boltzmann Brain](https://crow1170.com/boltzmann-brains/) 🤔.

![](https://crow1170.com/content/images/2025/05/1000011573.jpg)

It's bizarre to me, but I suppose any intrinsic good would be. It is always surprising to feel better from something's influence without some clear trajectory of how it will help me later. Even a good song is good because it puts me in a good mood and the good-mood version of me handles things better than the default. 

The crafts have started to take on a similar value. They are more than an opportunity to relax, more than a demonstration to others. Seeing them just makes me feel good, makes me confident I did relax, demonstrates to me I am someone who can and does relax. In a peculiar and unembarrassed way, I feel stupid for not having appreciated something like this before. Where others saw sunsets and beautiful flowers, I saw only wasted time. But now I see myself watching them and them watching something that brings them peace, and only one them is wasting time.

![](https://crow1170.com/content/images/2025/05/1000011574.jpg)